I'm not lost just on facebook. I like the chat aspect. come find me I'm Sami.Cakes

I'm not sure anyone cares or even reads this anymore. I spend most of my time on facebook. I'm going through a lot of crap right now and haven't been out other than for gaming in a while. I can't find my Id and that really pisses me off. I need to get my Drivers license back but haven't had time to go to the DMV. I don't know. My life is chaos and I wish I had people to hang out with and do stuff with. Most days I don't even want to get dressed. Soon I'll be going to Colorado and hopefully things won't suck as much.

I have been diagnosed with PTSD and (probably) bipolar. They put me on Prozac and it hyped me up I got really manic and then I crashed!! THey changed my meds so next week I start Lemictal. Drugs are fun MMKay? UGH!! My ID is still missing and has been for several weeks. (Since 8 of July) I can't seem to locate it. It's pissing me off.

Devlin was admitted to the hospital over night last week. His White Blood Cell Count was very low. The next day they redid the blood test and he was back to normal. He apparently had a virus known as the "Coxsackie Virus". He fought it off. He is back to being Devlin.

I made my 4th of July dress for the Ren Faire in Colorado. I will also wear this dress for SCA events. I need to sew the hem of the skirt but other than that it's done.

I guess that's it. Nothing has changed as far as knowing when I'm going to move to Colorado. I am having trouble with my counseling right now. Apparently no none in the office can read and right a schedule. It really irritates me.

Devlin has had a fever of 101+ for going on 4days now. We took him to URGENT CARE Tuesday. Everytime he wakes up he is BURNING-UP and so I give him Ibuprofen and put him back to bed. He just lays there drinks his cup and cries. That's not my baby. My baby is Happy. He won't even give kisses and cries when we get him dressed/ Those are his two favorite things like EVER!! Well He woke up this morning in the same fashion as the last few days so Tim called into work and is taking him to the ER! I want my baby back. I want to walk in his room and say "Morning Sunshine how is my handsome boy?" and have him climb up and reach for me and smile saying "MAMAMAMAMA!" He hasn't done that in days. i hate when the kids are sick. It makes me crazy!!

I am moving. To Colorado Springs. I have a place to live and a job. I'm hoping to go to Culinary School too. It'll be a few weeks at least. I have to finish dealing with counseling and stuff. We have to buy a second car since Tim and the kids will remain here. From my friends here I ask that you support me in this. I ask that you understand that I must better myself and in turn better the lives of my children. It's going to be hard and Tim is going to need help. If you have the opportunity and where-with-all to watch the kids, please do. They are really good and we'd appreciate the help. This is a HUGE step for me and my family. We need all the support we can get.

I was sent this email. From what was a friend of mine that didn't even ask what the hell.

(  DRAMATIC Email  )

I can't believe that this is what my life has come to. I left that Party to go get my mom who was too drunk to drive and her boyfriend was arrested and her car was towed and she was left without shoes in the Ladera Shopping Center Parking Lot.

Maybe it's true. If your friends can just stop being your friends with out asking your side of a story or clarifying what happened Maybe they weren't your friend to begin with. I'm sad to loose a friend but maybe I'm better off.

My grandmother isn't alot of peoples favorite person. I figure she's 90 so she can be bitter and evil. Well she's never been really healthy. She's always smoked. A few years ago she was diagnosed with diabetes and as a result she had some of her toes and fingers amputated. in the last year she needed a caregiver so they moved her to Carlsbad to live near my Aunt Debbie and Uncle Mark. They got her an apartment and a caregiver who would check on her Monday-Friday for 4 hours a day.

My cousin graduated from High School Thursday so my Dad's Girlfriend Julie and her exhusband, my uncle James drove to Carlsbad to attend my cousins graduation. They picked up my grandma and spent the day with her. She said that my Aunt and Uncle weren't visiting her and that she felt like no one loved her. Julie told her that she'd come down and help her move back to Farmington so that she'd have more family around next weekend. Kisses good-bye. Julie called my grandma when they got back to Farmington to let her know they were home ok. This was the last time anyone heard from her. The caregiver found my grandmother in her bed gone. No one knows when she died other than sometime between Friday night and this mornng when the caregiver got there.

I don't understand how my family thinks it's ok to treat people like shit. My Uncle Doug drove to my Dad's house and told him and my Uncle James that "It was an inconvenience for him to drive 20 minutes to tell them that their Mother has passed." and that They should have answered the phone. How fucked up is that. Oh yeah No service for her and my already rich Uncle Doug gets EVERYTHING!! She has 16 grandkids and 6 children. Only Doug gets everything. I'm really hurt right now. I shouldn't have expected anything different My sisters and I were the greatest mistakes of her life. I'm just sad that she died thinking that no one loved her because even with as mean as she was to me growing up I still loved her.

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Lots going on. Tim herald_tim is working 14-15 hour days Monday through Thursday which leaves me at home with out a car and with the kids all day. I've started my crochet again so I feel like I'm getting something done. (If anyone has yarn they don't want/need I'd be more than happy to take it off your hands.)

I can't decide what to do with my hair. It's sort of everywhere. I wear lots of ponytails and hair falls. I'd like extensions but I think they are REALLY expensive. (If you have any ideas as to how much extensions cost or where I can get them done let me know.)

I got my ACT score back I got a 19. Better than I thought I'd do but not as good as I wanted to. It should be good enough to get me into UNM.

Potty training is going good I think. She had one accident yesterday on my couch!! Has been naked and running around doing her Emily things that way for 2 days so that it's easier for her to go when she wants. No accidents today!!

My son is a GIANT!! Every one thinks he's 2. He's about to walk any day now. He takes a few steps sometimes but sits down right away.

Other NEWS!! I"M NOT PREGNANT!! Not that I thought I was I just wanted to make it clear. Oh and I'm down to 193!!

I'm helping out at the BN show Saturday. I'll probably be at Adam's Party Friday herald_tim will be there too. Brad won't get it through his head that I'm not interested anymore. Yeah lots going on. Now to rearrange my living room!!

We found one but can't afford it right now. Anyone want to loan us $900 LOL. UGH why is life so hard.

The other day while scrounging through craigslist I came across 2 exercise bikes for FREE! I picked them up. and I have been getting on and off of them doing a little bit each day and I have been stopping as soon as my thighs started to hurt. I decided that this was not enough. I have been watching Make me a Supermodel and decided that I'd watch and ride for at least 30 minutes straight. I DID IT!! 30 Minutes and now I can't feel my legs. OMG. I can't wait to get my Kim Kardashian videos. This weight will melt away.

Does anyone have any suggestions for breaking my soda habit??

EDIT: 194 from 200 last week.

Edit #2 I don't think my problem is the sugar I think it's me worrying about how to get my caffeine. I don't eat Sweet things too much and soda is the only way for me to get my caffeine since I'm not a coffee drinker.

Lost 4 LBS!!

I thought I was doing so good. I've cut my soda intake to 2ish a day generally. I'd love to cut it completely but the headaches are too much and my anxiety is too high. I'm only been eating when I'm hungry. I've been doing a ton of yard work. I got on the scale last week I was 197.4. Last night I was 200.8. I'm not sure how that works. I'm so depressed and am so tired of being fat.

I got dumped by my boyfriend type person Brad. I'm not sure how to feel about it. Good or bad. I'm kind of indifferent about it and have been indifferent about him for a while. I'm not sure why. I kind of miss having him around today. Yet I also feel that anyone could be here and it would be just as good. MEH! I guess it's not him. I just like people being around. He was great a few months ago but then he got really lazy and bitchy about everything. one minute he'd tell me how he wants to help me and the next he was bitching because I asked for help. C'est la vie! Maybe this is for the good. Anyways just wanted to vent a bit. Heck maybe this is a step in the direction of getting Paul back or maybe this is in preparation for starting school. Who knows?? It could be for the best.

First I'll apologize for the short notice. Yesterday was my birthday and I was busy. I found out this morning that I'll be able to do what I love to do with people I love tonight. So If you are available Please join me at Retro's (Wyoming and Constitution) For Karaoke and Drinking. I figure around 9 would be great. I hope some of you can make it.

Thanks edecho59

Is there any pace that does Karaoke on Thursday nights?? It's my birthday and I'd love to get out and get my Karaoke on!!

Any one want to do Happy Birthday to me things??

Tomorrow I'll be 28. YUP!! I'm knocking on thirty. It's crazy to think that I have 4 kids and have been married twice. I've gone from a social butterfly to socially inept. I've gone from having more friends than I know what to do with to having virtually no friends at all. My life is so different now. I don't know if it's good or bad. Anyways I'd love to do something but sadly I'll be at home hanging out with the kids as my husband has to work.

Hopefully I'll be getting this tattoo tonight.

( Uber Nerd tattoo Ahoy!! )

I have come to the conclusion that I've got WAY TOO MUCH fabric that I'm not going to use. A few years back we did a fabric swap at elegantelbow's place and I think it's time we have another swap. This time I was thinking that perhaps in a park would be great. More space and the warm summery Spring air. Maybe we all can do a picnic out there or something. I miss people!! LOL I think I'd do just about anything to be around them. So Anyone down??

Took My ACT yesterday!! YAY!! I think I did well but I'm not sure. I want my results NOW!! Sadly I have to wait for a few weeks. :( Went to Vampire LARP last night and it was the worse game I've ever been too no fault to our ST it was player driven POOP!! 2 weeks though and I'll be in New Orleans with my Ray. This also means in 2 weeks my son will be 1. WOW!! i can't believe it's already been a year.

I want my hair cut like this. I need it done right and for a good price. Any ideas??

OMG!! I'm going to New Orleans from April 16th to April 20th YAY!! I HAVE TO FLY!! I'm so scared. I've never been on/in/or near a plane. There are 4 other people I know going to be on the flight. We're going for the LARP. Plus it's the weekend before my birthday. My friend Ray paid for the ticket and Hotel and We'll pay him back. Does anyone have and flight experience that they will share?? PLEASE!!

I FINALLY watched "Twilight". that movie makes great sense to me. Especially the lines, "What if I'm not the Hero? What if I'm the bad guy?" It's my life. I don't feel like a hero. I'm not a good person. I'm pretty sure I'm the bad guy. I also feel that these lines have a much deeper meaning by the end. He saves her so some times the bad guy is the hero. I don't know what I'm saying I'm just rambling on about nothing.

So I'm going to go to to the 4th Street Bar to "THE BACKROOM" Gothic thingy. I need to hear Kent Spin and do a little drinking. Anyone else going?? I haven't been out in SOOOOOOO long.

No I have no clue why that's my subject it just is.

Things are crazy. I've fallen into a HUGE depression and can't get out of it. I am thinking that seeing some of you whom I've not seen in quite some time would be GREAT so is there a club still?? I'd like to get out have drinks and maybe dance a bit with some of you. I'd also like to get a park picnic or something like that going. Anyone interested?? I need to have some social interactions. Maybe some Kiddie Play Dates, Zoo, Aquarium?? something. Help me get out of the house. Thanks.

Also if anyone knows of any office/desk jobs please let me know. I can't do any physical labor because of my back. I'd really like a job though. Also it would need to be flexible for school purposes. April 4th is coming quick and so are my ACTs. I'm nervous but my tutoring has helped and My Tutor, Mark, thinks I'll do great. I've already raised my test score from an 18 to a 24. My goal is a 30. I'll find out Saturday how close I am for this week. Anyways time to do my tutoring homework please let me know about Club and Office/ Desk Jobs.

4 baby kittens, a nap, and lost a friend over stupid crap. I'm feeling a bit indifferent this afternoon. Kitty pictures are next.

The day Tim decides to take the girl kitties in to get fixed what happens?? My 3 footed cat has kittens. So far there are 3 so if you are going to want kitties let me know and you can have dibs. So far 1 blackish one and 2 creamish ones. UGH!!

Tomorrow I start tutoring for my ACT which I'm scheduled for April 4th. I took a practice test and scored an 18 of 36. OUCH!! Mark (my tutor and friend) told me that it wasn't too bad considering I probably haven't thought about half of the crap in 10 years or more. He's probably right. Last week we filled out my UNM application and my FAFSA. YAY!! I'm doing it I'm really doing it. My current major will be English since pre-law doesn't exist. I'm going to bust ass and hopefully I can get scholarships and crap like that to go to law school. GO ME!!

Been going through a lot recently most of which I won't get into. I finally cleared up my warrant from several years ago. I need to get a new computer or have mine dumped. I helped run our convention thingy for the LARP. That actually went really well. We all had a great time. So I guess I should get to what really prompted this post. I'm going to go back to school. I have a friend who is going to help me and so I'm going to do it. I'm going to be a Lawyer when it's all said and done. I'm very excited about the possibilities this bring for myself and my family. Things have been tough and I think that it's time I f*&^%$#@ do something about it. No more of this getting a fast food job for a few weeks. Forget it. I want my kids to have something to be proud of. Speaking of my kids My oldest, Klairissa (9), got her first honor roll. She's having an assembly at school tomorrow at 8:30 am and I'm going to be there. I am so proud of my miss smarty-pants. Emily is talking so much and is so active. Devlin is up walking around furniture holding on. He's huge. 21 lbs and just about 2 feet tall. Sabrina is doing better. She's starting to listen a bit more and is doing much better in school. I have the best kids ever. Anyways I'm going to go have lunch/snacky with my husband. If we can find a babysitter we'd like to go out and have a nice evening out at the Club. It being Gothic Winter Ball* and all that. So if anyone would watch Emily and Devlin tomorrow night We'd really appreciate it. It's been a long time since we've been out together. Let me or Tim know.

*This was one of the first events we attended together. It's also where this icon photo was taken.

So I woke up with a migraine. To top off wakng up with said migraine. Emily fell off the top bunk and split her lip from her gums. Blood everywhere. Tim has taken her in to get it fixed/sewn/whatever. AHHHHHH!! I hate today.

http://albuquerque.craigslist.org/pet/940618577.html

This is the sister to my Basset. Please help find her a home. They are SUPER awesome!!

So My 6 teeth are gone. I was groggy for the first 6 hours then I was HUNGRY!! I've decided to not take the narcotics they prescribed since I'm sensitive to those sorts of things. Plus Ibuprofen seems to do the trick. I actually woke up this morning is INCREDIBLE amounts of pain. Magically all of the Ibuprofen in the house is missing. Luckily my husband loves me and ran to Walgreen's and got me some more. Today I start gentle salt rinses and the Penicillin. Oh my poor face.

Not much to report but I'll get ya'll up to speed. I still work at Papa John's although I technically don't have a schedule. I basically go to work when I feel like. Colorado Springs FGoTM was great. I had a Great time with Paul, Matt and Marco. Damn good 24hrs. I still have a sinus infection. I've had it for a month now. EWW!! Tomorrow I'm going back to the dentist to have 6 teeth pulled. That should be EXCELLENT!! Other than that Nothing much going on. Oh yeah i still want a desk job.

Yeah this is a bit angsty but Tim doesn't want to hear it so I'm posting it here.

I Fucking hate my "job" It's not really a job more like a place that's not home and pays me to do the same thing I do at home. I'm not being trained. I'm reading and filling out a workbook ALL DAY!! My manager is a pain in the ass. She has me opening tomorrow by myself. No I've not been trained to do it but I have no choice. I called the Director of Operations who seems cool to me but all I got from him was "I'll talk to her about it" WTF?? I'm OPENING TOMORROW!!!! I can't make pizzas. If it's me and a driver what am I going to do?? It's dumb. I really want to quit but I need the money for my teeth and my dog so...what?? UGGG! I have a crap ton of sewing to do before Friday. And I'm working like 46 hours this week. I'M SO ANNOYED!! Plus Tim and I have been fighting all damn day!

On an up note. My costume is done and so are Devlin, Emily, and Klairissa's. Sabrina's in mostly done. GRRRR!!

I'm thinking about going to Graham Central Station's Alley Cats Bar for Karaoke. I've been before and it's fun. Not nearly as good as Whiskey Business but it has potential. Also there is no cover for the ladies (guys cover is only $5). And there is the possibility for dancing in ANY of the other "clubs" in the building. Anyways I'm thinking about going was wondering if anyone else wants to get out of the house.

I got a real Job. Like one I go to every day. I'm a MIT at Papa John's. In 3 weeks I'll hopefully be a GM. Then hopefully a Trainer. YAY!!! I'm excited. The stupid job stuff is easy. I'm going to have more trouble doing the paperwork and manager stuff I think. Any moron can answer a phone and take an order correctly. Any idiot can make any of the menu items box them and have them ready for delivery or Carry out. DUMB!!! Any retard can clean and Prep food. The hard part is going to be paperwork. I'm good at paperwork though. I started yesterday and have learned the basics. I guess the most difficult mundane part of the job is dough. It really is Hand tossed and not everyone can get that. I'm sure it won't be a problem since I've done it before. I'm off today and tomorrow and don't go in on Thursday until 4:15. Friday and Saturday are HELLA long days though. 9:15AM until 7:00PM. OMG I'm going to be soo tired. Sunday I don't go in until 3:00PM until 11:30PM. Monday and Tuesday I think I'm off both of those days though I'm not entirely sure since I don't make the schedule. i did request those days since Monday Devlin has his 6 month Check up in Rio Rancho and Tuesday I have a DENTIST appointment. (YEs I seem more excited than I should be. Oh the pain will be gone soon!!!) Oh did I mention all my training for work is in Rio Rancho?? No?? Well Yeah. I get to drive to Rio Rancho every day!! YIPPY!! Have I mentioned I HATE Rio Rancho?? If not I HATE RIO RANCHO!!! Anyways that's what's up with me. What's up with ya'll??

I am sick of people. People who don't understand why i do things the way I do. I make choices for me not for anyone else. GRRR!! i have too much to da and not nearly enough time to do it in.

We have 7-8 people coming to stay with us over the weekend for an SCA event and my house is a disaster. The front room is partially clean I have TONS of laundry to put away. The computer room is clean. The Girls room is horrid and Emily and Devlin's room needs vacuumed. And we won't even get into the Kitchen and bathroom. OMG!! Why did we volunteer for this?? oh yeah Karma. This is just the beginning of the stress in my house.

It's also Halloween Month which means I have a crap ton of sewing to do. I am getting paid for a Lion costume and he wants it mostly done by Tuesday next week. SIGH! Devlin's costume is done. Rissa's costume is mostly done. Sabrina's costume is started, and Emily's costume is mostly done. I also have a Corpse Bride costume to put together.

I also have to got to a few more hotels and find out what we can get as far as pricing for our FGOTM. I just need Hotel rooms for under $75 a night and confrence space with 3 rooms that'll hold around 10 people in the smallest 20 in the medium and 100 in the largest. Is that too much to ask for?? oh yeah my budget is like $0 woot.

I really wish Bob would call me and tell me he can get me trained for work. I'd rather be doing that right now. and it pays better than this.

Thanks for listening to the Venting.

If anyone wants to come hang while we clean we'd love to have you.

Tomorrow we'll be having a BBQ at our house to celebrate my eldest and youngest daughter's birthdays. Emily turned 2 September 2nd and Klairissa will be 9 September 28. Everyone is welcome. Please let me know if you can come so i can make sure we have plenty of foodage for everyone. So around 1 tomorrow come to our house. (if you don't know where it is just ask).

~Sami

If you're on my friends list, I want to know 36 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, or if we already know everything about each other. Short and sweet is fine... you're on my list, so I want to know you better!

Comment here and repost a blank one on your own journal.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
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22) What color eyes do you have?
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25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
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29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
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34) Favourite and least favourite food?
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Candy Corn Kisses Make me feel better!! :D